How purple is your prose?

Purple prose is bad. Really bad. But that doesn't mean it isn't fun to mock. Warning: this blog contains foul language, adult situations and a whiny bitch.

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Nanowrimo... or hell week, extended

I've spent the last week thinking about NaNoWriMo and worrying that I was a total geek for worrying about it. For those of you not in the know (don't you love how I pretend I have readers), NaNo isn't until November, so I have plenty of time. In fact, I even have the first week of November off of work, so, really, I have time.
But that doesn't stop me from worrying... so I head over to the forums and lo and behold, others are already researching their novels too! It's so nice to be amongst other like minded literary geeks. So, come on, head over to Nano and geek out with us!
Currently reviewing:

Lovely cover, no muscle bound Neanderthal or cheesy children. Let's just hope the story is as promising as the sublty sexy cover (note the position of her leg...they aren't just talking people!) Read the review next week at The Romance Reader

Monday, August 15, 2005

Creepy Covers

Okay, so I'm reading Almost Naked, Inc. and it's not bad. I'm not very far into it, so it may be bad, but not yet. My problem? The cover:



What's the deal here? The heroine's been electrocuted? The hero's kiss is that electric? Or she just needs some Frizz-Eaze (which doesn't work kids, believe me). Seriously, I really don't understand. First of all, that looks uncomfortable as hell. Her shoulder's all twisted up under her chin, she sitting all fucky in his lap. What gives? We cant' just kiss face to face anymore, now we have to be all creative about it? Don't we women traditionally press our naked heaving bosoms against the man we're all naked and heaving with? Or is this heroine afraid of full body contact... again, jacket designers, it isn't sexy if it isn't comfy. Sheesh.

Monday, August 01, 2005

Again with the trash novels

I was perusing Smart bitches, trashy novels a couple of weeks ago and stumbled across the personal ad for "You Again" by Peggy Nicholson. It's not your average Harlequin Superromance. Mainly because the heroine spends roughly one half of the book as a cat.
What? You look startled. Let me say that again, one half the book as a cat. As in "meow". Obviously it's a paranormal. Less obviously, it's a damn good book. The heroine Jessica ends up "soul jumping" into her cat whilst being attacked by a sociopath. Actually, she's locked in a burning room with the cat and throws Cattoo out the window so that she can "live for both of (them)". It's a touching scene that only a true cat lover could understand. I've always sworn that in a fire, Trista would be my priority. I have a chance, he doesn't. So I got that.
And I really liked the premise, Nicholson took a huge chance by having a heroine who can't interact with her hero, who just happens to be Jessica's ex-husband. He finds the cat, reluctantly takes her in and slowly pieces together that his "Jezebel" is Jess's Cattoo. But he never quite makes the leap to Jessica=Jezebel, which makes him, well sane. Because who in their right mind thinks their ex-wife is a cat?
ANYway, my point: sometimes the off-beat, the unexpected is just what we need. And sometimes, I really wish I were creative enough to make my heroine a cat.